The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
