do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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