well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
