I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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