You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
