When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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