just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
