I'm so fucking centered right now
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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