My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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