she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
