3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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