He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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