remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
