if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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