Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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