Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
