while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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