I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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