You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
