Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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