hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx