just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?