You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt