its not stalking. its research.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.