I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
