Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
