That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
