A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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