I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
