Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
