Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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