I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
