so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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