He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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