my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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