There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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