try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The best revenge is premature balding
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
