Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
