dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
