Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize