so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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