I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ttyl tear gas
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
