i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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