we're blogging at a bar
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
