If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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