dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
