i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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