too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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