All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
