She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
