VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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