i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
