I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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