so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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