apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
