Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
