I heard we made out
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
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She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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