You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
