I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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