your parents love me but you hate me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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