Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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