I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
