Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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