YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
